Who Do You Admire?

Here at my house I am the biggest hard ass about little nit picky things. I get this fabulous trait from my beloved mother. Yesterday I was going over the homework and I spied a little piece of paper that my step daughter had in her folder. I immediately snapped at her wanting to know what she was trying to hide. She said it was for an assignment that they were doing in writing. She proceeded to tell me that they were writing about the person that they most admired. I snapped again who are you going to be writing about. She said the person she admired most was me. I immediately felt like total crap. Today as I was going through the homework folders I saw the half finished writing assignment. As I read the paper I started to cry. She said the nicest thing about me. She said that I was teaching her to grow up and be smart and polite. I just felt horrible as I read this paper. I am soooooo hard on this child and she writes a nice paper about me. I do not deserve in any way to be honored in this writing assignment. Her paper has taught me two things. The first is that I need to think before I start reprimanding the kids. I have been way too hard on them. The second thing that I learned is that the things that I am trying to get through to them is actually getting through to them. I am very proud of Kaitlyn. She is a beautiful and intelligent young lady and I hope that she makes all of her dreams come true. Some day maybe she can reconnect with her mom, but for now I will try my best everyday to make sure she is taught the things she needs to know to make her way in this crazy world. I just need to remember to do that in a more kind way, so as to not imitate my own disapproving mother. I'm not bitter or anything....

Sour SIL

I have spent the last few months dealing with a sour SIL. Some days I can stomach the sour puss and some days I want to strangle her and put her out of her misery. I am usually a nice person. I usually would never let anyone know that I do not like them, BUT I am almost to the point of loosing it with this person. I absolutely refuse to go to her house. I will not let my children spend any time alone with her and the holiday season is fast approaching. What am I to do? We recently had a funeral that required the whole family to be together for more than a few days. The day of the funeral I had just had enough of the sour puss poisoning everyone. I had to make an emergency phone call to my sister. I needed to vent before I blew up at my hubby. He was in no shape emotionally to deal with my crazy ranting about his totally out of line sister. The minute our car left the driveway to carry us back home I could hear her poisoning all the remaining family members. I have decided that she is so unhappy with her own life that she is hell bent on making the whole family believe that I am the worst person on the face of the earth. The family lets her continue on because "that is the way she is", but if I speak my mind about anything then I am out of line. Since moving out here I have noticed a big change in her demeanor. Her days are now spent sitting on her back deck slumped in a chair,smoking and complaining about how broke they are and how fat she feels she is becoming. I know that this has become kind of a rant rather than a blog entry, but I just needed to get it off my chest. I don't know how I am going to make it through the holidays. I am hoping that I will not bite my tongue off!!!! Stay tuned.

My Little Prince Is Home

This is my little prince. He has been home for seven days. He was gone for six weeks. I have never been away from him for longer than a few days. It was a long six weeks. He took a red eye flight home and since he was an unaccompanied minor he had to get off the plane last. I was waiting by the gate because I had to get a special security pass and meet him at his gate. This random lady getting off the plane walked up to me and said is your son on this flight? I said why yes he is. She said oh he sat by me and he was such a good boy. He slept the whole way home and she had covered him up with the blanket and made sure he was ok. I was so glad that he was good on the flight. As he got off the plane he was just waking up so he was a little groggy but he woke right up when he saw me. I was of course crying because I was so relieved to have him back and he thought something was wrong. I just told him that I missed him and loved him so much. He has fallen right back into life here at home. This picture that I am posting is one that I took last night. For some reason he loves to draw mustaches and beards on his face with markers. I have told him a million times to knock it off....boys....I am so happy to have my little prince back home with me. I think that he missed me a little. Every day when I get home from work he runs to the door and gives me a big hug and that always makes my day.

The Red Velvet Cake

Yesterday I had the day off. I went to Costco in the morning and then trekked all the Costco purchases up to the second floor. I then put everything away, made lunch, picked up two kids from the relative's house, made another list for Wal Mart, spent an hour plus in Wal Mart, made dinner, cleaned up dinner, made a red velvet cake, made lunch for today for everyone. The red velvet cake was for some of the guys on my hubby's crew. I sent about half the cake and we all had a small piece for desert. I had a quite large chunk left for tonight. Today I worked all day and then had to go sign some papers after work. I got home a little after 7pm. I was going to make dinner and then enjoy a large slice of heaven. As I glided by the counter I stopped in my tracks...could my tired eyes be deceiving me? It could not be...nobody could be that stupid to lick all the frosting off the prized red velvet cake. This was no box cake. This was a made from scratch frosting included cake. I could not believe my eyes. I called, ok I screamed, for all three kids to get into the kitchen pronto. Kaitlyn gave Nicholas this look like now we're caught. I smelled a big rat. To make a long story short all three got spanked before anyone confessed. Nicholas finally said he took one little lick off the top. I was furious. The whole thing was ruined because as he said it tasted good. So sadly..the cake had to go! Hopefully tomorrow will not end on the same note.

The New Job

Ok...so I started last Monday. The first day nobody was expecting me, so things were slow going. The second day the girl that was training me was informed that she did NOT get the supervisor position in our department. She left for lunch crying and called back to say that she would not be returning that day. The third day she cried all day long every time someone would come and offer their condolences. She was also on-line all afternoon, with I don't know who, writing her resume and cover letter for another job. I didn't know if I should get up and leave the room or what. She kept telling the person on the phone that she could not say anything because I was sitting there. The fourth day went a little better, she made it through the entire day with a few crying jags. The fifth day was just an ok day. By Friday I was fed up with her being pissy about the situation, but she is off now for the next 12 days. Today I had to work in a different department because the two people working in my department don't really know what they are doing. If I ever get trained properly I will love the job. I seem to fit in well socially and everyone is very nice. But we all know that nice wears off after awhile. I do get to wear all of my dressy clothes and I love that. I wear my heels and everyone looks at me like I'm crazy...but I look good! I will keep everyone posted on the days of my life...

Chuck's Birhday

Today we spent the day celebrating by brother-in-law's birthday. The whole family was in town to celebrate his 39th birthday. We have all had our differences and lately it has been very tense. I did not want to attend this party,but I support my husband and so I said that I would go and play nice. The day started off with a nice thunderstorm and a huge rain storm. So by the time we made it to my sister-in-law's house it was nice and humid. FUN! We all made small talk for a few hours and then it was time to eat. The food was great and we were all managing to get along. Then it was time to open presents. I suppose that it would be a good time to tell you that the birthday boy has ALS and is confined to a wheelchair. He is getting progressively worse everyday and his speech is not good at this time. When the whole family, all 24 of us, got into the same room I think it hit us that this would probably be the last birthday that he will be having. It really hit me when his wife started reading the cards that everyone had given him. What would I do if I knew that it was my last birthday? Or even that this visit might be my last with my family? The whole family knows that God has a plan for our lives, but sitting there tonight it was hard to accept the way his plan is playing out in our lives. After all the tears or at least some of the tears had dried up we began taking family pictures. I try to have a positive attitude so that we can keep it together for my brother-in -law, but man sometimes it just hits you hard. It made all the little things that we all fight about seem so unimportant. I wish I could say that maybe they will find a cure for this disease before it takes his life, but I know that is not likely. I am glad that I played nice and went to the party. I learned that family is way more important that all the little arguments we have. I hope that we will have more great family time with Chuck.

Finally Passed

Today I finally passed my polygraph test. I had to go through a background check and then I was given an informal job offer and then the dreaded "lie detector" test. I was to have my drug test this morning and then the test in the afternoon. I made sure that I did not drink myself into a coma last night. I woke up on time and made it to the police department on time. I was escorted over to the city nurse. She was extremely busy today. At least that is what she said when she kept me waiting for an hour and a half. I had to have a mini-physical, that included a drug test, vision test and hearing test. I passed all of them...I studied last night! I had planned to go shopping for some new pants, but then I didn't have enough time to go the mall that I wanted to go to. I ended up looking around one of the closer malls, but I did not find anything. I have learned that I don't like shopping alone. I will write a post on that subject another day. I met with the detective that was giving the polygraph test and he explained it in detail. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Anyways....I start on Monday. I will keep you updated on my new career path as my journey continues...

New Job

I am going to be working at the High Point Police Department!! I had to leave my vacation and interview for this job. When I got the initial call I was disappointed that they were interviewing during our vacation, but I really wanted this job so I just drove home the night before the interview. The night before there was this huge thunderstorm and I was all alone. I got up early so that I would not be late and I actually couldn't remember if the interview started at 8 or 8:30. The paper that I had written that information on mysteriously disappeared from our counter. I put my nice new black suit on, with my fabulous pair of spanx on under, in order to fit into the pants. I got to the police station a few minutes before 8 and checked in. When the lady called me back I was surprised to see that not only was she conducting the interview, but the Captain of the department, too. We instantly hit it off when the Captain found out that I was vacationing in Surf City. He had spent the previous week a few doors down from the house I was staying in. He told me of a few good restaurants and that started us out on a good foot. The interview progressed well and at the end he asked me to step out for a minute and then Linda returned to give me a tour. As I was ushered back into the interview room the Captain was all smiles. He said that he was so impressed with my interview that they wanted to offer me a job on the spot. He further stated that in all of his years he had never hired anyone on the spot. I was shocked. He said he was very impressed that I had come back from my vacation to interview. I don't know who they have been interviewing, but I was thrilled. I have to undergo a formal background search that includes a polygraph test. I took my packet of paperwork and raced home to fill it out and make all the copies of the required information. When I made it back to the police station two hours had gone by and the Captain was out to lunch. Everyone was real friendly and they found someone to notarize my paperwork and I sat and waited for the Captain to come back. When he walked in he was so excited to see me and he was soooo apologetic for making me wait. I got my picture taken and my fingerprints done. He then told me that he was retiring in thirteen days. I was sad to hear that because he was so pumped to be hiring me, but he walked me out to my car and was just so thrilled that I came back with all my paperwork in order. I returned to the beach and today I met with my background investigator. He was very positive too!! I am so excited...I have never had anyone want me to work for them like these people, kinda makes me wonder what kind of people they have been interviewing. I will keep you posted on the progress of my background investigation. Oh, I forgot to add that I don't even know how much money I will be making. I think maybe I am crazy, but the job sounds like so much fun!

Vacation

Well, the past week has flown by. Our much anticipated vacation is now officially over. My sweetie had to go back to work tonight. We had a very relaxing week. We rented a beach house across the street from the beach. Our dog got to tag along for this humid adventure. It was our first car trip with our pooch so we did not know what to expect. He did well. We found the house and checked everything out and then went to dinner. The next morning we woke up and quickly went down to the beach. I had never been to the beach on the East Coast so this was all new for me, especially the humidity. I am used to cold water and cool evenings and mornings. Not so here. The town we were staying in was very family oriented, so all the people on the beach were families. This was nice. I hate trying to suck my gut in to compete with all the other barbies on the beach. We laid on the beach, ate, laid on the beach, toured a snake exhibit, laid on the beach, toured a battleship, ate, and laid on the beach. We are definitely going back next year. I am already looking for the perfect house overlooking the beach, so that my lazy rear end can just lounge on the sundeck and watch the kids out on the beach. We even had this awesome outdoor shower. It was great to have some time away from tv and computers and craziness..oh and while we were on vacation I managed to land myself a job..more on that later.

He's Off

Well, my little prince is off. I was so sad to see him go, but he was very confident and very observant. We spent two hours hanging out at the airport and he showed me where his gate was and when we were walking around he got a little agitated because we were not in the Delta section anymore. He said my plane might take off early and then they won't notice I'm missing until they are in the air. I assured him that there was no way in the world that they would take off early. I started to cry when it was almost time for him to board the plane and he just looked at me and said don't cry mom! He then offered me his favorite flavor of Starburst. He made it there and his dad reports that the airline steward (not stewardess) said he was one of the most well behaved kids that he had seen. I was so relieved that he was safe and that he had been well behaved. Now I have six weeks until another flight..

MAD

As some of you know I have an ex-husband who to put it nicely is a jackass. In less than twenty four hours my little prince will be on a plane all by himself, for a five hour flight. I get a phone call from said jackass' wife tonight telling me that I need to talk to my little princes' father. He gets on the phone and says that they got into an argument, a large argument and that he had fallen off the wagon yet again. I said of course you did. You know that my most prized possession will be flying out to stay for SIX long weeks and you must stick your head as far up your butt as you can. After about fourteen phone calls and about fourteen peoples good advice later I decide that my little prince will not be flying out to see said jackass. Then wifey poo calls back and says it was just a large argument and he did not really fall off the wagon he actually had some drinks on Saturday and has since climbed back on the wagon and has been sober since. Soooo, to make a long story short I had to argue with those two all evening because they cannot get along and must call me when things get real bad. Because you know that none of us have arguments or financial difficulties in our lives!! That brings me to my title. They made me MAD!! and I just wanted everyone to know that I am the only sane person involved in their lives.

NC School District

I had an interesting time today, trying to find out what the school boundaries are out here. We were planning on moving to a larger city before school started next year, but the kids caught wind of that plan and they were devastated. At first I was not caring about their two cents, but then I found the oldest crying about it. I took a second look at the situation and realized that all three kids have had the best year academically that they have ever had. They also did well socially. The town we live in is just very small and there is no mall for me to throw all of my money away. Soooo.. to make a long story short we decided that we would just stay put and find a place to live in the school district. Mind you I have moved twice this year and we now live on the second floor. We live in the "wrong" school area. I decided that I would look for a new place to rent. Well, I cannot just drive around and look for a place unless I know the boundaries for this said school. I called the school district and talked to five different people. The first lady passed me off to a lady that said she worked in the schools themselves and they had a map of the boundaries. My school said they do not have said map. She then passed me to transportation, because they have to have a map?! The lady in transportation said they did not have a map, but I could find a few houses and call her back with the address and she would look them up to see if they were in the school boundary. Now, this idea seems very lame to me. Why would I want to drive around and look at houses that I could maybe live in and then call and bug this lady constantly with new addresses? So, I told her nicely that I couldn't believe that no map existed. She then passed me off to another lady who would "know" if said map exists. This lady said they could not print out maps for everyone, because everyone would be coming down to get one. Instead everyone should call constantly when they found a house that "might " be in the schools boundaries. This make no sense to me. Then she passed me off to her supervisor and I tried to say as nicely as possible that it was nuts for me to drive around aimlessly and then call to see if the house I am looking at was in the school boundaries. He finally broke down and conceded that they do in fact have a map and I could come down to the district office and check it out. Of course I need to call first and see if someone is there because everyone has vacations to attend to in the next three weeks. All this just so the kids can go to the "good" school in town. I can't wait to go down and look at the map. It probably doesn't exist. Knowing my luck their pet raccoon will have eaten the only map they have right before I get to the office. Why oh why must everything be a trial for me???

Airlines

I have had it!! Last night I spent sixty minutes on hold, forty minutes talking to representatives, and eight hours to calm down. I spent the first twenty minutes calmly on hold, then had a long thirty minute conversation with someone who spoke English and was very pleasant. I had her save the reservation so that I could confirm with my little prince's father. I called back and waited twenty minutes and in that twenty minutes I fell asleep. I awoke to someone saying goodbye..I said I'm here about twenty times,but the representative hung up. I called right back and was on hold another twenty minutes. This time I had an oatmeal cookie and a glass of milk to keep me awake. I gave the representative my reference number and we started the booking process. Then when I was about to give my credit card info the lady says oh, he cannot fly on this flight because he is seven. He must fly non stop. I just about lost it. He has been seven for this whole conversation and the one I had with the previous person. All I could do was ask if there were ANY non stop flights from NC to LA. Of course NOT!!! I did not yell or scream I just said thanks and have a nice night. So, this morning I spent another twenty minutes on the phone and finally booked a non stop flight. Of course this airline that I spoke to this morning outsources all of its customer service, so I had to spell everything four times. I know that I am being rude, but I just don't like the outsourcing. And I don't have to like it!!!!!!! I need to go shopping, that will make my headache go away and I will be as good as new until I have to go to the airport!

The Rain

I am sitting out on my deck listening to the rain. It is so nice. Today it was very humid and I am not used to that. I come from a place where we have a dry heat, and this is certainly not a dry heat. In fact it is only eighty degrees and I was sweating to death. Tonight when I was saying bye to my hubby I realized that it was raining and I opened all the windows in the house. It cooled off and now I am just loving the sound of the rain coming down. I can light all of my millions of candles around the house, too! Now, I just need the perfect glass of wine...Oh, but I cannot order wine to be delivered here in NC!!! I am very upset about this. I have this certain wine that I love to order from Washington and now I'm lost out here and it cannot be delivered to me. What am I going to do?

Another "good deal"

Well, the bargain hunter in me has totally taken over my life and I cannot purchase anything that is not on sale or marked down or on craigslist. I check that site daily. I have been wanting a dog for some time now. My husband promised me that when I moved out here I could get a dachshund. I was perusing the pet ads on craigslist and low and behold there was an ad for a handsome dachshund. The picture was great, so I shot off an e-mail and didn't think that I would hear anything. Wrong, the lady wrote me back and asked me to call her that night. It was past 10pm, so I felt that was a little too late and would call in the morning. I did and we set up a time to view this handsome beast. My husband and I and my sister in law drove out to this remote area. The lady had at the very least nine dogs, a ferret, chickens and smoked in the house. This handsome dog had been kept outside with some other larger dogs that had attacked him on a previous day. The said dog barked and growled at us for a good ten minutes. He had a swollen head and I decided that I was going to get him out of that situation. I gave the lady some money and loaded the dog into the car. He was very nervous and I was scared that he would not get along with my kids. To make a very long story short he tried to bite the vet, has a horrible abscess on his head and now $209 later he is a part of our family. Once the vet drained the abscess he was a lot kinder to her. He takes pills every twelve hours and he has a follow up scheduled for Tuesday. The kids love him and he is loving them. So my "good deal" on craigslist is now a member of our family and has made our kids very happy, and I'm sure our vet will be able to vacation in Mexico this summer when all is said and done, our treat, of course.

My View

This is the view that I wake up to every morning. I see this from my bathroom window, my window above my sink and from the dining room. I love it!! At night now I can see fireflies. I have never seen them before and so I get excited every time I see one light up. I like to listen to all of the noises that come from the trees at night, too. The picture does not do the trees justice. Every time we go looking for houses we find the perfect house, but it doesn't have the trees around it or it has trees and it is a hideous house. Some day I will find the perfect one.

LAZY

I am the laziest person I know. I have no drive. Why is this? I wonder if I get it from my mom? I purchased this state of the art (meaning-expensive) elliptical machine when I moved out here. I told my husband that I must exercise in a safe environment and the roads are so narrow in our town. I told him that I would work out every night when he leaves for work. I work out all right.. my remote finger and ebay fingers have been getting the workout of their lives, but not so much my big belly. I was so proud of myself for completing a whole weight loss program that the machine had programed into the computer, now I just have to do that program every day not just once a week. I try to tell myself baby steps, but I think that I am just trying to justify being lazy. I always feel better about myself when I have finished my workout, but everyday it is a battle with my inner self to get on that machine. It is taking up all of my living room, but when I am on it the remote will not change channels. I think maybe my problem is the tv. What did I do before tv? Some people are lucky and they don't get sucked in, I on the other hand can get sucked in by an infomercial, a weight loss infomercial, mind you. It always looks so easy and fun on tv. Then I realize that in order to have all the success with the weight loss program I will actually have to eat less and move more. I can move more, but the eating less is a hard one. I love to cook and I love to eat. I do not get that from my mom, I do know that. Sooo all this boils down to the fact that I have come to terms with..I am lazy!!

Strawberry Jam

I love strawberry jam!! It must be homemade strawberry jam. I finally got off my rear end and took the kids berry picking. By the time we bought after school snacks and the berries and the ice cream we had spent over thirty dollars. Why,oh why, don't I just buy jam? It sure would cost a whole heck of a lot less. I just got finished making the fabulous jam and I must wait twenty four long hours before I can partake in my luscious jam. Today I went and picked up my new dinner table. I bought it off Craigslist. I saw this on someones blog and I thought that I would check it out. Now I am addicted to this site. I cannot get on the computer without checking it. I like to see other peoples junk that they are selling. It makes me laugh all the time when they advertise an antique table and chairs and it is really a piece of junk. I love to laugh at this site. Anyways.. I picked up this black wrought iron and glass topped table with four chairs for one hundred dollars. I saw this table and it is perfect for my little space and it goes with my color scheme for the kitchen area. I must go now and check the new postings. Ok, maybe I need a job!!

Finally a new posting..

I started this blog in March and I thought that I would write every day to try and work through my frustrations, but every day I make an excuse not to write. I made it through mothers day without injuring any arguing children. I sometimes wonder if they can speak without whining or arguing with each other. I had a major melt down at the baseball field the other day and it made me feel like I am turning into my mother, my worst fear in life. It all started with a small little thunderstorm...in the middle of my youngest child's baseball game. This was my first experience with a thunderstorm since moving to NC. I was not aware of their power over a group of people. Let's just say that we were quickly ushered off the field and under a large wooden "covered patio". I quickly screamed for my oldest child to get under the cover NOW, this somehow made him move slower and that made me a little nervous. When he finally made it to cover I specifically said stay by my side, as this was a new scary experience for me. Next thing I know he is gone...panic sets in...what if he has gone back out in the storm and gets hurt...his dad will kill me..no, he is sitting on the ground right where I told him he couldn't be. So, as I made my way to where he was my panic wears off and I loose it. I'm sure that the whole town was enjoying the show that I put on. To make matters worse,it started pouring down rain and I had to go out in the rain to get all of the baseball gear and my chair. I know this sounds like no problem, but did I mention that I was wearing a white tank top minus a bra?! I know that the whole place had their eyes on me after I had just chewed my sweet child a new butt, so out in the downpour I went. I had never wanted to crawl in a hole and die so much as that afternoon. I can't wait for next Saturday..what kind of a show can I put on for the crowd?! Ah, when will I learn to keep my mouth shut?

Am I Crazy?

Today my step daughter, let's call her princess, really tested my nerves. For her past birthday she received a bracelet from a friend that lives out of state. She had the bracelet for a few hours and I found it lying on the floor, just tossed aside. I was pissed, she does not appreciate anything. So, I being the great "pot stirrer" picked the bracelet up and waited to see if it would be missed. I waited until her dad got home and still nothing, then her aunt came over for a visit, so I asked her to show the new bobble to her aunt. Did she gasp or show any emotion as to the loss of her precious gift? No, she just looked at the floor where she had tossed the gift hours before. It just blows my mind that she does not respect anything. She had the gall to say to me, and I quote, "why are you making such a big deal about it." I just about lost it. What do I tell this lost young lady????

My First Blog

This is my very first blog...I look forward to reading one of my girlfriend's blogs everyday and now I want to vent for myself!! Hopefully this will be as entertaining for everyone else as it is for me.. Since I have just moved all the way across the country I am a little "lost". I have always lived in the same place and I knew the area like the back of my hand, now I am living in a tiny town where I don't know anyone and I have just become the step mother of two challenging children. Everyday I wake up and wonder if I am going to make it through another day without cracking..I have so many questions and no one to ask..Am I the only one that feels this way?

My First Blog

This is my very first blog...I look forward to reading one of my girlfriend's blogs everyday and now I want to vent for myself!! Hopefully this will be as entertaining for everyone else as it is for me.. Since I have just moved all the way across the country I am a little "lost". I have always lived in the same place and I knew the area like the back of my hand, now I am living in a tiny town where I don't know anyone and I have just become the step mother of two challenging children. Everyday I wake up and wonder if I am going to make it through another day without cracking..I have so many questions and no one to ask..Am I the only one that feels this way?