Newspaper

I love reading the newspaper. That has always been a joke in all of my relationships. I have to read the newspaper everyday in the same order. I used to get tore back when my paper was not delivered. Since I have lived out in NC I have read the Bakersfield paper everyday. I just realized that I keep up on news out there more than I do here in NC. I think that is very interesting....I still read the Sunday paper here but I do not keep up on local events or local scandals. I just don't have much to say today. I have so much on my mind and I have so many mixed feelings about all the decisions I have to make. I need to get all my ducks in a row and make a final decision. For some reason I feel like I will be letting people down here in NC if I go home, but I know that I really need to do whats best for me and my Prince. Just an FYI to the girls that have been commenting on my blog I have not forgotten the September birthdays. I have been compiling a little picture collage and I wanted to call on a day that wasn't so hectic with us all having children now special days are sometimes almost too crazy. I have not forgotten you two. I have been going through all the pictures of our young crazy days!!! Ok, now back to letting people down here in NC. I have made this friend here at work and she really needs someone in her life to help her up if you will. Her husband is a real gem. He is always first to put her down and point out all of her non existent flaws...you know the type. I always try to lift her spirits and treat her especially well. I just feel like I would be abandoning her. The other people are the people at the church we just started going to. They are soooo down to earth and they have been soo nice to me and my Prince. I enjoy all the sermons that the pastor has given and I just hope they would not be disappointed. I don't know why I care so much what other people think or if I am letting others down?! I guess I did have more to say than I thought, sorry for rambling...more later...

Should I stay.....

Should I stay or should I go is the question of the day. I can't seem to make up my mind. I love my job here and I do like the area, but I am all alone out here. I struggle horribly financially out here and I am terribly lonely. Every time I think I'm at my breaking point I just keep trying. I had this great boyfriend but that isn't going to go anywhere and that doesn't help with being lonely. I started going to a church and I do like it, but I just don't fit in out here. The thing is that I want to live the lifestyle that I was accustomed to back home and I cannot do that here. If I stay I will always struggle financially. I just cannot put anything else on my credit cards and I just want to go home. I just don't know what the right thing to do is... I miss my friends and my life back home. I miss going out to eat and going to the beach and visiting my family. I have seen my parents only once in almost two years. I haven't seen one of my sisters at all and I miss her so much. My little Prince's father lives out on the west coast,too! So why isn't this an easy decision you ask, because I don't wanna just run home a failure. I do love my job more than anything...but is this the best place for us to be....I have been trying to answer that for the last eight months and I still cannot make up my mind. Maybe tomorrow I will have an answer!

Monday....

I have decided that I DO NOT like the mornings. I am working first shift right now and that requires me to get up around 5 am. I love staying up late at night but then I pay for it the next morning. One would think that I would learn that I must go to bed at a decent hour in order to be fully awake at work. Yesterday morning I had washed my face with my face soap and poured the shampoo into my hand and then put the shampoo on my face!! As soon as I did it I was awake. I told myself that I would be going to bed at a reasonable hour so that did not happen again, but I did not follow my own advice yet again. Thank goodness there are no hidden cameras in my shower. That must have been quite a sight.
Now for my weekend update. Lets see...Friday night we stopped for tacos and my Prince's favorite cheese sauce at Barbarritos. It was wild in there. There was a lady that was letting her FOUR wild indians run wild. They were running and screaming and jumping on the seats. I had just gotten off of a ten hour shift with a busy radio and tons of crazy people turning themselves in so I was in NO mood to smile and suck it up and watch the out of control children. What's wrong with parents these days? She didn't even attempt to stop the craziness. Anyways not my problem! Saturday was spent working and then we went to a new Japanese restaurant with one of the officers on my team. His girl does my hair when I have the money to get it done. I had never been to this restaurant and since my Prince does not like the food there I thought I should go while I had someone to go with. It was good and we got to bed late but our bellies were full. Sunday I was back at work and I think everyone woke up on the wrong side of the bed and after church they wanted to take their bad day out on someone. That would be me!! My Lt had to kick one irate person out of the PD lobby. That was the highlight of my day!! After work I got my favorite soda and my newspapers and just relaxed. Painted my toes and then stayed up waaay to late watching shows that I had on my DVR. Not very glamorous this weekend, but maybe next weekend will be more newsworthy.....

Kids say the craziest things...

My regular babysitter was taking the day off yesterday so one of my friends at work was watching my Prince. They picked him up at work and went to a few yard sales and then on to McDonalds to play all day long. Somewhere along the way he proceeds to tell my friend that we are trying to save up a thousand dollars and then we are going to adopt another child. WHAT?! Where did he get that idea? I can barely afford one child and I do not have the patience for any more kids. My friend sweet lady that she is says to him why doesn't your mom just have another baby. He in turn says oh, my mom isn't married so she can't have any more kids. So she comes back with maybe we should get your mom married. He agreed with her and they went about their day. I laughed my head off when I heard of this conversation. He is a smart boy and he loves me dearly, but there will be NO MORE CHILDREN in our family. The odd part of all that is that he knows that I cannot have any more children ever, so I thought it strange that he told my friend that the only reason I wasn't having another child was because I was not married. My friend got a good laugh and I am going to try and remember to write that conversation in his "baby" book. I love to go back and read the things that I have put in there. It is crazy how much I forget as time goes by.

Back from nowhere

I have not been keeping up with my blog as you can well see. The time has flown by and so much has changed for me. I sometimes don't want to write about what is going on in my life because I am so frustrated with things. To catch up we bought my dream house, moved in, things got messy, I moved out, we got a divorce and now me and my Prince live in a small two bedroom apartment. The ex kept the house, none of the bills and I paid for the divorce. Needless to say I am a wee bit bitter. I am barely scraping by on my small salary, but I love my job. I struggle every day with trying to decide if we would be better off back at home in California. I just don't know if it would be the right thing to do. I have finally got my act together and we have found a small church to attend. Finally I have found some friendly people. I have run into some very unwelcoming women out here. I will try and update my blog as to our new adventures on a more regular basis. For now its back to work!!